b'When someone asks how long the 90-minute tour lasts, countIs there a difference between the River Tour andto ten before you accidentally say, Roughly 90 minutes. the Lake & River Tour?Yes. Well, the lake. (Come on, count to ten.)When someone asks how long the tour to Buckingham Pal-ace takes, count to ten before you reply, About a month,Is this the ocean?so well stop at Buckingham Fountain instead. Not unless Chicago has recently been relocated. (Dont forget ten.)10, 9, 8, 7, breathe in, 6, 5, 4, smile, 3, 2, 1, breath out and answer as enthusiastically as you talk about your PokemonDo you think I should take the 4:00 p.m. 90-minute card collection.tour? My flight home is at 6 p.m.Only if you enjoy stress, panic, and evading the TSA. Youll need it when a fraternity tries to bring a coffin on(Definitely count to ten.)board. When a woman decides the best time to deliver her sermon is right after the tour guide puts the mic down toWhere does Al Capone live?PHOTOS CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: TENNESSEE RIVERBOAT, LOVE CATALINA ISLAND, NEW ORLEANS STEAMBOAT COMPANY, WENDELLA TOURS & CRUISEStake a breath. When a family with three screaming toddlersWell, hes been dead for over 75 years, so maybe notsits directly under the microphone. Every. Single. Time. here anymore.Whats that round building in the middle of the lake? It takes a special kind of person to work in guest service. You mean the one I just spent five minutes talking about?Someone who can smile, stay calm, and count to ten!(Didnt count to ten.)35 NOVEMBER 2025'